“Atheists express rage against God although in their view He does not exist”

the-listening:

oh my god

(Source: caughtbythehalfmoon, via highlight-of-my-days)

• What I Said: (quoting someone from yahoo answers) "Wouldn't it be nice if Taco Bell sold deep fried tacos?"
• What my friend heard me say: What if Mexicans integrated Taco Bell and sold deep fried tacos?
• I don't even know.

• Barbara: Ew.
• Me: What?
• Barbara: Apparently some birds masturbate. How do they do that if they don't have...
• Me: Hands?
• Barbara: Well yeah. And I didn't know they had penises that, like, actually worked.
• Me: ...How would they reproduce if their penises didn't work?
• Barbara: No! I mean like, how would their penis be big enough to...(makes awkward hand motion)
• Me: I don't know.
• Barbara: ....
• Me: ....
• And surprisingly, this conversation wasn't awkward at all.

(Source: peterickk, via highlight-of-my-days)

highlight-of-my-days:

D’AWWWW

(via choose-recovery)